April 1st, 2008

Radiohead; Smiles are free

Let me tell you about protein

DEAREST VEGAN COWORKER,

You did not eat breakfast this morning. So I allowed you to get something from across the street. Yes, my creamed-chip-beef over hashbrowsn was good. I know you commented it looked and smelled elicious. BUT MISO SOUP AND A HALF A SPRING ROLL WILL NOT HOLD YOU OVER FOR A DAY!! That was your breakfast AND LUNCH!!! Now you are complaining about being tired, and drained, and oh lordy lord lord you could sleep for hooooooooooooooours. I know you're lying when you tell me you're full. You know, I can't run the shop with you working here and getting paid this way. You are so useless! If you at something more substantial, maybe you wouldn't be sitting in a chair all day with your eyes closed, feeling so weak. Get up. And work. If you can't, eat something that will get you moving that isn't coffee. You don't understand why you arn't waking up from the coffee? WELL, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO RUN ON IN YOUR SYSTEM.

You eat wrong. Get it in your brain, I told you to get pancakes, but you won't eat it cause it uses eggs. But you WILL EAT FRIED RICE. WHICH ALSO HAS EGGS IN IT. AND COOKIES. AND CUPCAKES.

YOU ARE A MORON.



I have yet to meet a smart vegan.


-Keely